I've entitled this post cualquier for the simple fact that I utilize this word way too much and it probably doesn't mean what I think it means. Ha, which reminds me of the Princess Bride line - "You keep saying that word. I don't think it means what you think it means..." But then again, I think most everything in life reminds me of a Princess Bride line.
So after being unmercilessly attacked by la grippe/ flu and food poisoning, I have somehow crawled my way out of bed to work and then type away because I can obviously not do much more than that. The city lights gleam outside my window because c'mon, I do have the best view in all of Xela, besides being on top of one of the mountains here (sooooo cold up there!!! even with six layers on and what I thought was an iron will) (note to self: when it comes to cold, you do not even have a plastic will, you have no will whatsoever).
So far, I've learned a lot of Spanish (yipee!) and can understand most of what people say to me (but I have to be paying attention, which isn't always the case. But the first few days where I just said "si, si" to everything except to buy things have gone away).
And what I want to do for the next year or so of my life now is completely undecided. And I love that it's undecided. I know I should make plans - or I don't know so much as the inner list-maker and planner inside of me tells me that it's completely natural to make plans and what am I doing without having any plans?!?!?! but a bigger part of me loves not having a plan right now. Sometimes, in the off moments when I have extra time (i.e. I'm sick) I peruse the internet looking for possible new places to go but I really do like it here. There are definite disadvantages - it gets cold in the morning and at night, it's not really safe to walk around alone after 9pm, and yea I get sick in non-US and non-European countries, but beyond that I'm actually learning Spanish, the people here are so warm, every day that I run is like an obstacle course (if I'm not almost run over by a bus or a car then it's not really a good run), and there's just so much to do here.
Part of me really misses LA and when I see pictures of it or things that remind me of it, I feel a pang in my heart. But I know I will go back there. I just tell my heart to shut the hell up and that when it's time for LA it's time for LA and that now is time for me to grow as a person and learn some effin Spanish, volunteer, and do good things. Once I've seen things and done good things, then hey, I can head back (hopefully) stronger and better because of it all. And, if not, well then at least I can go into a Mexican restaurant and order in Spanish (which I probably won't do it but at least I'll be able to!).
